You’re Irrelevant

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but, you’re completely irrelevant. The average life span of a human being is about 70 years old and Earth is over 4.2 billion years old. Your lifespan would have to be multiplied by 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 in order to equal a nano second in the earth’s existence!

Justin Beiber Is Sick of His Screaming Fans

Tween idol Justin Bieber, (apparently fearing for his hearing), says he doesn’t want fans to scream at him, or for him anymore. Our PR advice to Beiber is to backtrack on those comments and simply wear ear plugs on future tours (or lose his hearing the old fashion way by attending a Metallica concert).